What’s your New Year’s Resolution? This time of year, people make heartfelt commitments to quit smoking or lose weight or stay on a budget. According to a study I can’t cite, 80% fail by the end of the month.  Every time you smoke, eat too much or max-out a credit card you feel like crap, right?

Logically, you know better, but you can’t stop.  You’ve tried the patch and the pills.  You’ve been on diets.  You’ve bought the CD’s.  Maybe they work for a bit, but eventually you’re back to square one.  So, you promise yourself, “I’ll quit smoking tomorrow or I’ll start a diet on New Years Day”.  Clearly this kind of promise doesn’t work. 

What does work? Well, after 12 years of studying and researching this subject I have developed a method to effectively drop these bad habits.  Once you apply my method, you’ll be amazed at the results.  

 I believe you practice self-destructive behaviors because you want to feel good.  After years of “feeling good” with smoking, over-eating and debting you forget what really feels good. 

 Feelings are emotions and emotional problems need emotional solutions.  Bad habits are really emotional problems and physical solutions won’t fix them until the underlying emotional problem is released.  The most common emotional problem is unresolved anger, also known as resentment.

 Too much resentment gives you a guilty conscience. They say, “Nothing makes a softer pillow than a clear conscience”.  Probably since childhood you’ve been accumulating them-each year more and more resentments.  They make you sarcastic, nitpicky or depressed.  You’ve stuffed those resentments way down deep inside.  Well, it’s 2009 and they desperately want to come out!

The Clear Conscience Program lets them out.  First admit your hang-ups then forgive yourself and finally get right with the world.  Sounds simple but how does it work? 

1.   Write a lifetime account of your resentments. 

2.   Soon after you complete the list go through it and discuss what harm they caused you and others.

3.   Discuss your willingness to release your resentments.   

4.   Write about your willingness to be forgiven. 

5.   Discuss when you’ll be relieved of your resentments. 

6.   Make a list of people you’ve harmed by holding resentment against them. 

7.   Write an apology script where you admit the harm, express regret, offer restitution, commit to change and rehearse it. 

11.When you’re ready, visit the people you’ve harmed and get right with them.  

You may recognize elements of this method from several religions, Oprah and 12 step programs.  Yup, I drew on several sources to bring the conscience clearing program together.  Not everyone needs a 12 step program and some people don’t like church.  But everyone likes Oprah!

After hearing this you might think, “Whew, no wonder I smoked and ate too much! Who wants to do all this?”  Well, conscience clearing isn’t for everybody.  People do it when they’re ready to stop feeling bad and start doing better.

Some people think their resentments are too terrible to share.  I’ve heard many stories of dreadful abuse and appalling circumstances, but let me tell you, some are shocking but none have overwhelmed me. 

My life’s work is to relieve resentments and regrets, shame and dishonesty.  This kind of work isn’t for everyone.  It requires me to be emotionally healthy myself.  I do a conscience clearing every year and check-up’s every week.  On a daily basis I meditate, and journal.  I live free of alcohol, drugs, caffeine, nicotine and sugar.  I’m glad to be in a monogamous relationship with Peter, my husband of 12 years.  I’ve completed course work on how to be present and create accountability with clients.  I’ve done the Course in Miracles and Emotional Intelligence programs.  I’m a graduate of Taking it Lightly at the Center for Creative Learning. I have 20 years of experience doing this delicate work and it requires me to be patient, courageous and honest with clients.   

People trust me with their secrets and I honor that with full confidentiality. I’m especially good at bringing out the worst in people and helping them clear it up. 

I want you to admit your resentments, find a way to forgive yourself and summon the courage to get right with the world.  Only then can you begin a life of clarity and freedom. 

Good luck in the New Year and don’t forget to release your resentments!