|
My
journey with the tarot cards began before I was even born. My mother
and father wanted to conceive a child, and my mom decided to use my
mother’s old Rider-Waite deck and see what information she could
obtain through a reading. Family legend was made when she got the
outcome card she hoped for: The Empress, a common pregnancy card. A
few weeks later the tarot’s prediction was confirmed by her
doctor. She was pregnant! Nine months later I arrived in this world.
My
first true encounter with the cards happened in college. A friend of
mine had purchased the Haindl Tarot deck, and immediately I asked if
I could sit in and watch her figure out how to use it. Using the
enclosed informational packet, we tried a few basic layouts.
Being 20 years old, we naturally decided to read about the guys we
were dating. I was particularly excited as I’d started a new
relationship that seemed extremely promising. We shuffled, laid out
the cards, and to my horror got utterly frightening cards for the
outcome with my new boyfriend- The Devil (bondage, power struggles),
The 10 of Swords (ruin, despair, great sadness), and The Tower (the
complete destruction of structures and relationships, a common
"break-up" card). So I talked myself out of believing in
the cards, and chose to blissfully pursue my new relationship. Not
even two weeks later events took an unexpected turn. My new
boyfriend suddenly became extremely opinionated, intolerant and
controlling. When I took a firm stance against him, he insulted me
and broke up with me on the spot. After picking up my self-esteem
off the floor, I started to question the correlation between my
reading and what transpired with my ex.
For
the next few years, I continued to play around with the cards,
continually testing their efficacy on various matters. Despite my
overall belief that the tarot worked, I always half expected to find
my readings were just a fluke. I trusted others to read tarot
successfully, but never really trusted myself. Nevertheless,
time after time I was taken aback by the answers I received. This
intensified my curiosity, causing me to ponder, "Just how in
the heck do these little cards really work, anyway??" I
resolved I would find the answer.
I
was fortunate to meet Deborah in my mid-twenties. Prompted by a gut
feeling, I booked a tarot reading with her. It was such an
astonishing experience that I went back to see her numerous times
through the years. During
that time a friendship formed between us, and I shared with her my
interest in learning more about how the cards worked.
Her response was immediate and extremely enthusiastic.
She invited me to her tarot interpretation class, and
continued guiding me through coaching and mentoring.
Before long, she was strongly encouraging me to establish
myself as a professional. She
began booking me for parties, events, and even occasionally taking a
client for her when she was booked solid.
Despite my self-doubt and trepidation, I found myself being
propelled forward into a new role that simultaneously thrilled and
terrified me: Tarot Reader
and Spiritual Advisor.
I’d
read for my friends many times before, but the first few times I
read for the public I was filled with overwhelming panic. Hundreds
of voices seemed to spin around in my head. “Who in the world do
you think you are, telling strangers about themselves and their
lives? This is insane! What if you make an inaccurate prediction, or
worse, a serious error in judgment?” Somehow through the
heart-pounding, the shakes and the overwhelming urge to vomit, I
pushed through my fear and managed to complete the readings. To my
surprise I began receiving follow-up calls from clients telling me
of predictions that manifested, and thanking me for the great peace
of mind they felt after their session.
Suddenly I felt this great sense of awe and humility.
For the first time I was sitting on the other side of the
table. Not only was I taking
on a great responsibility to others, but I was also paying forward
all the kindness I’d been fortunate enough to receive.
It was the most meaningful feeling I’d ever known. And
I’ve been blessed enough to see this new pattern take root and
flower to great heights in my world.
Little
did I know that a tiny deck of cards would reshape the direction of
my life, nor did I anticipate being so richly rewarded for embracing
my fear and moving beyond it. I’d
spent years contemplating what my path was supposed to be.
Never could I have dreamed the answer I sought after was
actually part of the equation of how I’d come to be born. So now I
am finally allowing this journey with tarot to take me wherever it
needs to go. I have a renewed
sense of faith in this process and I know it will unfold exactly as
it should. After all, it's in my cards.
|
